


Let it go

by Signe_chan



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: M/M, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 02:18:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signe_chan/pseuds/Signe_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the drift, Hermann finds out a lot of things about Newton he didn't know before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let it go

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note. This is a fic that deals with sex and virginity but is not smut. I intended it to be smut, don't get me wrong, but it didn't go that way. Just so you're forewarned when you read it about what to expect.

Hermann found out a lot of things about Newton in the drift. It was odd as he’d known Newton for years, he thought he knew the man but he supposed it only went to show that as well as you think you know a person, there are always new things to learn.

He learnt that Newt’s band in college had actually been pretty good. He learnt that Newt had taught himself to eat with chopsticks at the age of 12. He learnt that the entire giant monster fascination was more a coping mechanism than anything else – like if he could understand the things they couldn’t hurt him. To be fair, Hermann had suspected that for a while but now he knew it as well as Newt did.

He also learnt that Newt had never had sex. That shocked him more than a little. He’d always imagined Newt, well, Newt liked people. He’d imagined that at some point Newt had taken people home, made love to them. That he’d had girlfriends or boyfriends. A college romance, like Hermann’s. He’d presumed sometimes Newt went out for the night, like he did, to find someone to keep him warm when long-term relationships were nearly impossible.

Newt had never had that. He’d been kissed twice. Once when he was 17 in a park, once when he was 23 at a drunken frat party. Both times were short and sweet and a little disappointing. Nobody had ever kissed him properly. Nobody had ever touched him properly. Nobody had ever taught him the pleasure his own body could bring him. Newt got himself of like it was a chore, something he found time for every week or so to take the edge of and took no great joy in.

Of course, he also learnt a great deal about the Anteverse and the Precursors and, at the time, that was much more relevant knowledge so he pushed his new knowledge about Newt aside until the day was won.

Once the festivities had died down and he’d mourned, he took time to go back. He went through all he knew of the Anteverse, recording it, and somehow in the process this new knowledge of Newt, the knowledge he’d pushed down in the heat of the moment, drifted back to the surface.

He took his time with the memories, stretching himself to see what else he could recall, if he’d somehow missed something, but no – he was sure. Newton Geiszler had never had sex.

Hermann had never wanted to fuck anyone more.

That wasn’t exactly a new development. The intensity of it, yes, but he’d wanted Newt for a while. Wanted to fuck the smug grin of his face, at times. Wanted to kiss him and hold him close when he did something unexpectedly brilliant or kind, which was more often than Hermann would like to admit. Wanted to get on the ground and blow him when he was elbow deep in Kaiju guts or for Newt to fuck him against his blackboard.

He also wanted to take Newton’s hand when he got distracted and kiss the knuckles. Wanted to resolve their fights in a more carnal way and have pillow talk about breach physics. He wanted to take Newt with him when he inevitably left this place and keep him forever and he’d wanted that for awhile.

He’d presumed for the longest time that Newt’s apparent lack of interest meant he had no interest. He didn’t lean in to Hermann when Hermann leant in to him. He didn’t initiate physical contact and tended to fumble when Hermann initiated it. He didn’t seem to want to be in physical proximity at all but now, now Hermann had been inside Newton’s head and he knew. He knew it wasn’t disinterest, it was awkwardness. It was nerves manifesting and Newt wanted to be kept as much as Hermann wanted to keep him. He just had no idea how to achieve it.

Which meant Hermann was going to have to do something about it.

Of course, though his level of experience dwarfed Newton’s, he had always considered himself to be somewhat romantically inept. He’d had three lasting relationships. Kara, his childhood sweetheart, who had exchanged her virginity with his and mutually agreed it wasn’t working when he moved to attend University. Vanessa, the beautiful women he’d briefly married before the Kaiju tore their world apart. Francis, a fellow scientist back when Kaiju science consisted of more than himself and Newt. Each of those relationships had been initiated by the other person but he knew basically how it was done.

He waited until they were alone in the lab. They were there alone most of the time but he chose the evening. Things were quiet around the base in the wake of the attacks. Earth was victorious but scared. The breach had been opened once, they were all very aware it could happen again and, as the smoke and the rubble cleared, they suddenly found themselves in possession of new channels of funding wanting to build and maintain another Jaeger against the possibility of the breach opening again. A noble cause and one that could, coupled with Newt’s research, keep them both here for years to come if they chose.

Years when Hermann could put this of, pretend he was working up to it. That was appealing, in a way. Keep things comfortable. But he’d waited long enough and, frankly, Newton deserved better.

He waited for an evening when it was quiet. Most of the staff would be asleep or in a state where they weren’t inclined to visit K-science anyway. Newt had been bent over his desk for hours with some repugnant sample spread before him. His shoulders were tense and Hermann had been itching for hours to go over there and touch them, rub the knots out of them and now, finally, he gave himself permission.

Newton tensed immediately under his hands but Hermann didn’t move, he knew now that this didn’t mean anything. Incrementally Newton’s shoulders began to loosen until they were back to how they had been before Hermann initiated touch and Newt turned to look at him.

“Dude, what are you doing?” he asked, turning himself in his lab chair and Hermann was forced to take a step back, though he kept on hand extended and allowed it to trail over Newt’s back as he turned, coming to rest on his opposite shoulder.

“Touching you,” Hermann said. He’d already decided the direct approach was probably best when dealing with this situation. “I’d like to rub your shoulder, if you’d let me.”

“I don’t know,” Newt said, edging back a little. Hermann let his hand drop as Newt shrugged it off. It wouldn’t do for Newt to feel caged. Hermann had time. “Nobody’s ever done that for me before.”

“I know,” Hermann said, raising an eyebrow. Newt blushed, probably thinking about what else Hermann might know from the drift. “I’d still like to do it, if you’d let me.”

“I don’t know,” Newt repeated, fidgeting. Hermann wanted to reach out, to still him, but he knew he had to wait. Newt had to come to this himself. “I kind of figured...I mean, I know you’ve thought about me. I’ve been in your mind but I kind of figured that since you’ve been in my mind too you wouldn’t want to touch me anymore.”

“Why, because nobody else has?”

“A little,” Newt admitted. “But I also kind of figured you’d, well, you’d know why nobody else has ever shown any interest and you’d stop being interested because, well, there’s gotta be a reason, right?”

“You think too fast, don’t focus enough and you flinch when you’re touched. It’s why I haven’t done anything so far, I didn’t think you wanted it. But now I know differently and I’m still here.”

“And you still want to try?”

“Yes.”

Newt seemed to think about that for a second, twisting his hand in the loose shirttail. Hermann wanted to reach out and take the hand. To cover it with his own and keep it still. He’d never touched Newt intentionally like that before. Hugs in the heat of high emotion, yes, but not like this. He needed it, craved it, but he knew he had to wait. Knew Newt had to give it.

Finally Newt uncurled his hand and reached over, taking Hermann’s lightly. Hermann stepped closer at the implicit permission, bringing his free hand up to Newt’s shoulder again.

“Alright, man. But you’ve gotta be patient with me.”

“I won’t do anything you don’t want to do.” Newt chucked at that, bringing his free hand up to rest tentatively on Hermann’s hip, like he was scared even now that Hermann might run.

“It’s not wanting that’s the problem. I mean, I want everything. Doing it’s the issue. I get...I don’t know how I’ll handle it.”

“What do you want to do right now?” Hermann asked. “I’ll be satisfied to rub your shoulders...”

“I want you to kiss me,” Newt said, swaying forward a little in his chair and it was the easiest thing in the world to oblige.

Newt kissed, for want of a better comparison, like a washing machine. Clearly he was trying and that was endearing in its own way but he lacked fines. It was too wet and he stuck his tongue out too soon, moving it around as though he intended to circle the inside of Hermann’s mouth. Hermann drew back a little then moved back in, pressing soft closed mouth kisses to Newt’s lips then drawing Newt’s bottom lip between his teeth and biting it lightly. Newt gasped and Hermann grinned, using the distraction to seal their lips properly, letting his tongue into Newt’s mouth to show him how it was done.

One thing Hermann has always knows about Newt was that he was a quick study. It didn’t take long for Newt to pick up the technique, mirroring it back at Hermann with a kind of determination that was DEFINITLEY endearing. Hermann could have stayed there for days if it weren’t for his hip which had been making itself increasingly known as he stood there.

He pulled back, the look of glassy wonder in Newton’s eyes worth the pain in his lip.

“I need to sit down,” he said, apologetically. “Will you come with me?”

“Can there be more kissing?”

“I believe that’s guaranteed,” Hermann said, bringing his fingers up to thread through Newt’s. Newt looked down at this jointed hands as though he wasn’t quite sure what to do about them. A frown settled on his face and Hermann sighed, squeezing his fingers reassuringly. “If you would prefer we wait...”

“No,” Newt said quickly, squeezing Hermann’s fingers like he thought Hermann would snatch them away. “That’s not it. I just...I want to go with you and kiss but...I’m not sure I’m going to be up for much else tonight...”

“Newton, I am perfectly aware of your lack of experience in this area,” Hermann said, pulling Newt in a little. Newt came and that was in itself reassuring. “I certainly don’t intend to rush you and didn’t expect anything tonight. We will take as long as you need.”

“You’ll get bored.”

“I think not,” Hermann said, leaning in to press a little kiss to the side of Newt’s mouth. “After all this time, I intend to savour every moment.”


End file.
